Who do I want to be?

10:36

When I was younger I assumed at University I would have my life together. I would be grown up, mature with a finalised life plan. But in reality I really couldn't be any further...

Growing up you go through the stereotypical phases of wanting to be crazy things. In my case I wanted to be a Disney Princess (well still kind of do!), a gymnast, a vet, and all sorts. As you grow up you have to set your mind to picking a more 'stable/realistic' dream and truly work out who you really want to be.

Behold baby me

At the age of 15 I had to pick my A level options. Not the biggest decision in the world I know, but at the time it was huge. I had no idea of who I wanted to be. What I picked would then impact me forever. A simple choice I made at the age of 15 could determine what my future holds. The teachers would pile the pressure on us constantly reminding us that we had to be careful of what we picked, as this would effect what degree we could do. I felt as if this was it, this was my only chance to control my future.

Many thoughts ran through my head. How am I meant to choose my whole future when I haven't even learnt about the world yet? Yes I'm living but I'm in a bubble, yet to venture into the world of adulthood. I'm clueless about tax,mortgages, bills, and loans. All these 'adult' things that I feel I should know. As we are yet to find out what it's like to be an adult, how on earth can we make decisions about out adulthood? Thinking about what lifelong job I want is seriously the last thing on a 15 year old girls mind. Ask anyone that knows me, I can't even choose what I want for dinnuer, let alone something that will impact my life forever. What if I change my mind? What if I didn't pick the best option? Petrified that my A level choices could hold me back.

My first day at uni (with my brother)

So now at 18 am I much further on? Not really, I still don't know who I want to be. I'm studying the most popular degree in the country with ideas of what I want to do, but nothing set. Placing myself in one of the most competitive industries is terrifying, what If I don't succeed? But right now that doesn't matter. I'm enjoying my course and enjoying my experience at uni. After school you're thrown into a completely different lifestyle. At home I had everything done for me, now it's just me living alone in the big old world. I have a chance to grow as myself. Throughout university I'm exploring myself.After 18 years of living I'm still finding out new things I enjoy and am passionate about.

I am passionate about sport and have been all my life, but that doesn't define me. Read my blog and you can see I barely touch on it. I love fashion, I love music, I love beauty, I love travelling. There's so much more to me than one thing. Some things that I loved long ago don't mean that much to me anymore and that doesn't matter. My 15 year old self is not the same as me now. I have new interests and I've learnt that nothing is holding me back.. Growing up is all about finding what is right for you.

The most important advice I can give you is to follow your heart. If you think you haven't picked something that you want in the long run, don't panic! Over half of UK students don't work in their field of study. Meaning we don't have to limit ourselves. Things that may be pushed as important might not be. I can still be whatever I want to be. Just remember following your passion will lead you to success and happiness, but most importantly It doesn't matter if your passion changes.

Only you can control who you want to be.

H xxx

14 comments

sippingcoffee_23 November 2016 at 11:08
It's such a lovey reflective post, I love reading these! To be honest, as I was reading it was as though I was talking to myself about myself. Every bit of my education I always questioned, but how am I supposed to know at the age of 16 what I want to do.. And like you said, at the age of 18 not much has changed. Now that I'm 20, I still have no clue, and I'm happy to be doing the uni experience and hopefully as I (We) explore the world, all will become less hazy!

xoxo
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Newsha23 November 2016 at 11:13
This is such a sweet and honest post. I was honestly the same way all throughout uni- never 100% sure about what I was doing. I'm still that way now and I'm 22! To be honest though I'm enjoying the ride and I learn something about myself everyday. It's about enjoying the journey vs having everything planned out.

xx
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Unknown23 November 2016 at 13:06
Nice post Harriet. I made so many life decisions as a kid; yoi have no idea😅 but, Istill have no idea what the future holds for me. Thats the best part because we get to live everyday one at a time. And baby Harriet was cute😅😁. I can't find the like button though; maybe its because I'm not using my browser. But I can comment 😁
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susan s23 November 2016 at 15:50
My eldest granddaughter in England just started at Oxford University, and is taking English literature. She has no idea of what she wants to do, apart from loving books.
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Anonymous24 November 2016 at 14:32
Yes, we do change our minds when we start to get older! I also have one question, I was trying to do the Mystery Blogger Award, and I wanted to link back to your Mystery Blogger Award page, and it disappeared or something? Can I still do it?
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Alina25 November 2016 at 12:47
Aaah this is so relatable! (I'm in year 11 picking my A-levels verrry soon). What A-levels did you do and what are you studying? xx
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